March 7, 2011

Not Nice

We went to play at the Early Years Center for a bit today. So you know where this is going...

There was a boy just a bit older than Gavin who noticed his arm right away and pointed it out to his mom. His mom called him over and said she wanted to talk to him. She told him that something happened to him, maybe an accident, but he's OK and he's a nice boy.

The boy said loudly, "NO, he's NOT nice!"

The mom tried to correct him but he kept repeating, "He's not nice! He's not nice!" (much to the embarrassment of his mother).

Gavin looked so sad :(

He kept his distance from Gavin the whole time, literally walking a wide circle around him.

No matter how much I want to shield Gavin from these comments and experiences, I know I wouldn't be helping him. He likes going there and he has every right to. But why does it have to be so hard? Why can we not go there just ONCE without someone pointing it out? I know it is natural for kids to be curious and all that. I KNOW this. But it still doesn't make it any easier.

I'm just beginning to realize how CONSTANT it is. I don't want him to have to deal with that EVERY TIME he meets a new kid. He shouldn't have to :(


  1. I can relate. Children always ask out of curiosity but normally they are very sweet. I tell them my normal comment "he can do everything you can do" and that seems to be enough. One time this past fall, a little girl on Alaina's soccer team cried and screamed in 'fear' when she saw Benjamin's hand. At first, I thought her mom should take care of the situation. Later, I found out that the child has a form of autisim. It helped me be more understanding after I found out. A friend of mine is the director of an autism center and she said that the mom still should teach the child that her behavior is not an option.
    I,too feel so bad for Benjamin. He looks so sad when people ask. Breaks my heart,too...but like you said, it's life. They will grow from it as we help them deal with it...and always be there for them...and be a more understanding person to others.

  2. My son is 11 years old and we have experienced many situations just like you described when he was younger. It broke my heart each and every time. It is so hard because we ache to protect them from hurt and harsh words. Please know that it gets better. I have always told him, play with the nice kids, and stay away from the mean ones. Our children are brave, beautiful, and I am so proud to be a part of this community.