This evening I was in the bathroom with Gavin, getting ready to brush his teeth when he pointed at both my hands and then looked at his own and asked, "Where's two? I can't clap!"
I was a bit shocked, because he has always been able to clap on his little arm and he LOVES to clap. I reminded him that he can clap on his arm and asked him to show me. When he did, I gave him lots of praise and told him he's so good at clapping and that it makes a loud noise. He smiled and seemed proud of himself.
Then he told me, "I have arm like Aidan." I agreed with him and he asked me, "Why?"
I told him that he's special.
He pointed at his left arm and said, "I don't like that arm." Then held up his right hand and said, "Only that one."
I held his little arm and told him, "You know what? This arm's my favourite!" and kissed the end of his arm.
He proceeded to wipe off my kiss and laugh (because his new thing is wiping off my kisses because he knows I hate it!)
After he asks these heartbreaking questions he always seems satisfied with my answers and moves right along as if it was nothing. I know this is a good sign. But I, on the other hand, can never stop thinking about our conversation, analyzing it while feeling stunned by how it just came out of nowhere and amazed at how smart and aware he is for such a young age. Two and a half year olds really understand so much more than we give them credit for.
I'm so glad he is able to express himself so well but I really miss the innocence of him not knowing that he is different.