March 2, 2011

More Questions

As I was getting Gavin dressed again this morning he pointed at his little arm and asked, "Where's my hand?"

"Your hand? Its right there. A little one."

"Why?" He asked, and pointed at my hand and then to his little arm and said, "Where's my other hand? Where's two?"

I pointed to his right hand and said, "You have one."

"Only one?" He asked.

"Yep" I said, as a little piece of my heart broke.

Then he started telling me about a bug and that was the end of it.

As I was telling John about our little conversation, I wanted to cry but I turned it off and continued getting Gavin ready for the day. Now I'm letting myself have a good cry.

I wonder when our baby comes if he is going to wonder why the baby has two hands and he doesn't.

I think the hardest part is knowing that this is only the beginning and there will be so many more heartbreaking questions to follow that I just don't know how to answer.


  1. You're doing an amazing job, Megs. Just keep swimming!

  2. I found your blog through an online search. :) I love Gavin. He's so handsome!
    We adopted our Benjamin from China in 2008 and he is now 4 years old. He is such a joy to us...and such an amazing kid. He is missing fingers on his left hand...but as you would guess, nothing stops him.
    He has been hiding his little hand in his sleeve lately because kids always ask about his hand. I try to teach him to say, "I was born this way and I can do everything you can do." But he chooses to say nothing and hide his hand...ignoring the kids. Very sad. I know exactly what you are talking about. I don't think Benjamin will ever allow this to stop him but it does bother him when others ask. It's part of life and he will have to deal with it..but it still hurts me...and him.
    Thanks for sharing your story. :)

  3. I always wondered when he would ask that question,and knew it would be difficult to answer. The fact is, if by some miracle we could make it so that his second hand was big, we wouldn't because he's perfect the way he is, and it just wouldn't be Gavin....Some people have two hands and some people have one. It's as simple as that....
    Love You: DAD.........