Today was Gavin's first full day in the Jr Preschool room. I was a bit worried about how he would do since he has been telling me, "I no like that room. Only Maria's room!" ever since he started transitioning to that room a few weeks ago. He has been in the Sr Toddler room ever since he started daycare in July and he is very attached to the teachers in his room.
I also have so much trust in his teachers. I really love them and I'm so grateful for all the love and encouragement they have given to Gavin over the months. He has really thrived in that room. To be honest, I was a bit nervous about whether his new teachers would be able to fill their shoes!
We were trying to prepare Gavin over the weekend by talking to him about the big room. This morning we took him in and found his new cubby down the hall from his old one. He was a little shy but he did so much better than I expected!
I met one of his new teachers this morning and she was so welcoming and friendly. I talked to her about how Gavin has been asking me a lot of questions about his arm in the past few weeks and I think it is due to spending time in the "big room" and the other kids being curious and touching his arm a lot and making comments. She agreed with me and told me there is a little girl who is VERY curious and always wants to touch Gavin's arm. She said she redirects her and also has talked to Gavin about telling her when he doesn't like it. I have been working on the same thing with him. They had Aidan in that room so I know its nothing new to the teachers, but it is to some of the kids who didn't know Aidan and are just getting to know Gavin.
Anyways, she said that she would like to talk to the kids about it at circle time and read some books. I told her I have some books I can bring in and she was happy about that so I will bring them in tomorrow.
When we left, he didn't even cry and waved to us out the window and blew kisses. We decided we would pick him up right after lunch and leave him a bit longer each day this week until he was used to a full day in that room. When we went to get him he was laying on his cot looking at a book. I think he would have been just fine if we had left him longer. He didn't cry all morning and had a very busy day playing.
When we got home he told me he likes his new room and his new teacher. I'm so relieved that this won't be as hard of a transition for him as I expected! YAY Gavin! I'm so proud of him :)
March 14, 2011
March 11, 2011
"I don't like that arm"
This evening I was in the bathroom with Gavin, getting ready to brush his teeth when he pointed at both my hands and then looked at his own and asked, "Where's two? I can't clap!"
I was a bit shocked, because he has always been able to clap on his little arm and he LOVES to clap. I reminded him that he can clap on his arm and asked him to show me. When he did, I gave him lots of praise and told him he's so good at clapping and that it makes a loud noise. He smiled and seemed proud of himself.
Then he told me, "I have arm like Aidan." I agreed with him and he asked me, "Why?"
I told him that he's special.
He pointed at his left arm and said, "I don't like that arm." Then held up his right hand and said, "Only that one."
I held his little arm and told him, "You know what? This arm's my favourite!" and kissed the end of his arm.
He proceeded to wipe off my kiss and laugh (because his new thing is wiping off my kisses because he knows I hate it!)
After he asks these heartbreaking questions he always seems satisfied with my answers and moves right along as if it was nothing. I know this is a good sign. But I, on the other hand, can never stop thinking about our conversation, analyzing it while feeling stunned by how it just came out of nowhere and amazed at how smart and aware he is for such a young age. Two and a half year olds really understand so much more than we give them credit for.
I'm so glad he is able to express himself so well but I really miss the innocence of him not knowing that he is different.
I was a bit shocked, because he has always been able to clap on his little arm and he LOVES to clap. I reminded him that he can clap on his arm and asked him to show me. When he did, I gave him lots of praise and told him he's so good at clapping and that it makes a loud noise. He smiled and seemed proud of himself.
Then he told me, "I have arm like Aidan." I agreed with him and he asked me, "Why?"
I told him that he's special.
He pointed at his left arm and said, "I don't like that arm." Then held up his right hand and said, "Only that one."
I held his little arm and told him, "You know what? This arm's my favourite!" and kissed the end of his arm.
He proceeded to wipe off my kiss and laugh (because his new thing is wiping off my kisses because he knows I hate it!)
After he asks these heartbreaking questions he always seems satisfied with my answers and moves right along as if it was nothing. I know this is a good sign. But I, on the other hand, can never stop thinking about our conversation, analyzing it while feeling stunned by how it just came out of nowhere and amazed at how smart and aware he is for such a young age. Two and a half year olds really understand so much more than we give them credit for.
I'm so glad he is able to express himself so well but I really miss the innocence of him not knowing that he is different.
March 7, 2011
Not Nice
We went to play at the Early Years Center for a bit today. So you know where this is going...
There was a boy just a bit older than Gavin who noticed his arm right away and pointed it out to his mom. His mom called him over and said she wanted to talk to him. She told him that something happened to him, maybe an accident, but he's OK and he's a nice boy.
The boy said loudly, "NO, he's NOT nice!"
The mom tried to correct him but he kept repeating, "He's not nice! He's not nice!" (much to the embarrassment of his mother).
Gavin looked so sad :(
He kept his distance from Gavin the whole time, literally walking a wide circle around him.
No matter how much I want to shield Gavin from these comments and experiences, I know I wouldn't be helping him. He likes going there and he has every right to. But why does it have to be so hard? Why can we not go there just ONCE without someone pointing it out? I know it is natural for kids to be curious and all that. I KNOW this. But it still doesn't make it any easier.
I'm just beginning to realize how CONSTANT it is. I don't want him to have to deal with that EVERY TIME he meets a new kid. He shouldn't have to :(
There was a boy just a bit older than Gavin who noticed his arm right away and pointed it out to his mom. His mom called him over and said she wanted to talk to him. She told him that something happened to him, maybe an accident, but he's OK and he's a nice boy.
The boy said loudly, "NO, he's NOT nice!"
The mom tried to correct him but he kept repeating, "He's not nice! He's not nice!" (much to the embarrassment of his mother).
Gavin looked so sad :(
He kept his distance from Gavin the whole time, literally walking a wide circle around him.
No matter how much I want to shield Gavin from these comments and experiences, I know I wouldn't be helping him. He likes going there and he has every right to. But why does it have to be so hard? Why can we not go there just ONCE without someone pointing it out? I know it is natural for kids to be curious and all that. I KNOW this. But it still doesn't make it any easier.
I'm just beginning to realize how CONSTANT it is. I don't want him to have to deal with that EVERY TIME he meets a new kid. He shouldn't have to :(
Gavin's Favourite Spot
Our little guy has been really under the weather lately. He has been fighting off chronic ear infections and he is just not his happy self. We are doing everything we can to try to boost his immune system and help him get healthy.
The nights are the worst. I guess I can thank him for preparing us for having a newborn again. It shouldn't be too much of an adjustment in the night-waking department. He never really slept through the night in the first place. It is a rare occurrence that he doesn't wake up at least once. But lately, it is several times a night and he is just miserable. Poor guy :(
I'm so glad I am off work now and have been able to give him lots of extra cuddles and TLC.
I think he's going to miss his favourite spot!
(I'm 37 weeks and the countdown is on!!)
The nights are the worst. I guess I can thank him for preparing us for having a newborn again. It shouldn't be too much of an adjustment in the night-waking department. He never really slept through the night in the first place. It is a rare occurrence that he doesn't wake up at least once. But lately, it is several times a night and he is just miserable. Poor guy :(
I'm so glad I am off work now and have been able to give him lots of extra cuddles and TLC.
I think he's going to miss his favourite spot!
(I'm 37 weeks and the countdown is on!!)
March 2, 2011
The Big Room
Today I was asking Gavin about his day at daycare. He will be moving up to the preschool room in a few weeks so he has been visiting the room to make the transition easier.
He was telling me about visiting "the big room" as he calls it. He told me they have puzzles and a fire engine with a siren.
Then he told me that one of the kids was grabbing his little arm.
My guess is that these recent questions have to do with curious kids in "the big room" who are not familiar with him and have questions about his arm and want to touch it.
I talked to him again about telling people when he does not want to be touched. I feel pretty confident in the teachers handling the other children's questions well because Gavin is the second little guy without a left hand to be in that room. His friend Aidan recently moved on from the preschool room. He is always one age group ahead of Gavin. I love that they are both in the same center because I think it really helps to normalize limb differences for the other children and also help them both to feel like they're not the only one.
I really hope he adjusts well to his new room because it is right before the baby is due and that is a lot of change at the same time. We are planning to keep him enrolled there after the baby comes, even if he just goes for a short time in the mornings. I really think it will help him to keep that routine and have the whole socialization aspect. Also, he is SUCH an active little guy that its good for him to have the stimulation and also burn off some energy. Not to metion that it will give me some quality time with the baby.
He was telling me about visiting "the big room" as he calls it. He told me they have puzzles and a fire engine with a siren.
Then he told me that one of the kids was grabbing his little arm.
My guess is that these recent questions have to do with curious kids in "the big room" who are not familiar with him and have questions about his arm and want to touch it.
I talked to him again about telling people when he does not want to be touched. I feel pretty confident in the teachers handling the other children's questions well because Gavin is the second little guy without a left hand to be in that room. His friend Aidan recently moved on from the preschool room. He is always one age group ahead of Gavin. I love that they are both in the same center because I think it really helps to normalize limb differences for the other children and also help them both to feel like they're not the only one.
I really hope he adjusts well to his new room because it is right before the baby is due and that is a lot of change at the same time. We are planning to keep him enrolled there after the baby comes, even if he just goes for a short time in the mornings. I really think it will help him to keep that routine and have the whole socialization aspect. Also, he is SUCH an active little guy that its good for him to have the stimulation and also burn off some energy. Not to metion that it will give me some quality time with the baby.
More Questions
As I was getting Gavin dressed again this morning he pointed at his little arm and asked, "Where's my hand?"
"Your hand? Its right there. A little one."
"Why?" He asked, and pointed at my hand and then to his little arm and said, "Where's my other hand? Where's two?"
I pointed to his right hand and said, "You have one."
"Only one?" He asked.
"Yep" I said, as a little piece of my heart broke.
Then he started telling me about a bug and that was the end of it.
As I was telling John about our little conversation, I wanted to cry but I turned it off and continued getting Gavin ready for the day. Now I'm letting myself have a good cry.
I wonder when our baby comes if he is going to wonder why the baby has two hands and he doesn't.
I think the hardest part is knowing that this is only the beginning and there will be so many more heartbreaking questions to follow that I just don't know how to answer.
"Your hand? Its right there. A little one."
"Why?" He asked, and pointed at my hand and then to his little arm and said, "Where's my other hand? Where's two?"
I pointed to his right hand and said, "You have one."
"Only one?" He asked.
"Yep" I said, as a little piece of my heart broke.
Then he started telling me about a bug and that was the end of it.
As I was telling John about our little conversation, I wanted to cry but I turned it off and continued getting Gavin ready for the day. Now I'm letting myself have a good cry.
I wonder when our baby comes if he is going to wonder why the baby has two hands and he doesn't.
I think the hardest part is knowing that this is only the beginning and there will be so many more heartbreaking questions to follow that I just don't know how to answer.
February 24, 2011
The dreaded question
It finally came. Earlier than I expected. The moment where he asked what happened to his arm.
It really caught me off guard. He is only two and a half!
This morning as we were getting Gavin dressed he pointed to his little arm and I think his exact words were, "What happen? What happen for my arm?"
John and I just kind of looked at each other for a few seconds and for some reason I couldn't think of what to say. I thought I would have the perfect response because I have thought about it many times but all I said was, "Umm...that's just your little arm that you've always had."
And he didn't ask anything else. (Surprisingly...because he is at the stage where everything is "Why? Why Mommy? Why?")
I kind of know where the question came from because a few days ago I took him to the Early Years Center and there were a few kids that were asking a lot of questions about his arm. That always happens when we go there but we haven't been in several months.
There was an older boy that was playing with him for quite a while before he noticed. It was after almost an hour of playing that he suddenly grabbed Gavin's arm and said, "What kind of an arm is that?" and then asked me what happened. I gave the usual response that he was born that way. The boy said, "He can't even hold anything with that arm." And I told him, "Yes he can!" He asked, "How?" and I said, "Well why don't you ask him and maybe he will show you." The boy quickly saw how Gavin can hold things and after that, he moved on and they continued to play together.
Later, some more older kids came and the boy decided he would rather play with them. He started asking me when Gavin was going to go home because Gavin had a toy that he wanted. Then he loudly said that only 4 people can play the game and he counted, "1-2-3-4", pointing to himself and 3 other children and leaving Gavin out. Gavin loudly said,"1-2-3-4 play the game!" and pointed to himself! He was completely clueless that the boy was trying to exclude him and was simply copying him but I was still proud of him!
Then a little girl noticed Gavin's arm and ran to her mom and was pointing and saying, "That baby's arm is broken!" She kept grabbing his arm when he was trying to play and I had to step in and tell her not to (While her mom stood by and pretended not to notice, by the way, which is my biggest pet peeve ever!!! I understand it may be awkward and people don't know how to handle it but COME ON!) She was asking questions and I was answering her but she continued to say that his arm was broken and point at it.
On the way home I talked to Gavin about saying, "Don't touch me please!" if he does not like it when someone touches him.
This experience was nothing out of the ordinary. The same thing pretty much happens every time we go there because there are always different children and children are curious. But now he is at the age where he understands when they point out his difference and I'm afraid of him getting his feelings hurt or worrying that something is wrong with his arm.
It makes me sad that he will always have to deal with the questions, the stares and the pointing. All we can do is help him feel confident about himself, develop good self-esteem and get used to answering the endless questions.
It really caught me off guard. He is only two and a half!
This morning as we were getting Gavin dressed he pointed to his little arm and I think his exact words were, "What happen? What happen for my arm?"
John and I just kind of looked at each other for a few seconds and for some reason I couldn't think of what to say. I thought I would have the perfect response because I have thought about it many times but all I said was, "Umm...that's just your little arm that you've always had."
And he didn't ask anything else. (Surprisingly...because he is at the stage where everything is "Why? Why Mommy? Why?")
I kind of know where the question came from because a few days ago I took him to the Early Years Center and there were a few kids that were asking a lot of questions about his arm. That always happens when we go there but we haven't been in several months.
There was an older boy that was playing with him for quite a while before he noticed. It was after almost an hour of playing that he suddenly grabbed Gavin's arm and said, "What kind of an arm is that?" and then asked me what happened. I gave the usual response that he was born that way. The boy said, "He can't even hold anything with that arm." And I told him, "Yes he can!" He asked, "How?" and I said, "Well why don't you ask him and maybe he will show you." The boy quickly saw how Gavin can hold things and after that, he moved on and they continued to play together.
Later, some more older kids came and the boy decided he would rather play with them. He started asking me when Gavin was going to go home because Gavin had a toy that he wanted. Then he loudly said that only 4 people can play the game and he counted, "1-2-3-4", pointing to himself and 3 other children and leaving Gavin out. Gavin loudly said,"1-2-3-4 play the game!" and pointed to himself! He was completely clueless that the boy was trying to exclude him and was simply copying him but I was still proud of him!
Then a little girl noticed Gavin's arm and ran to her mom and was pointing and saying, "That baby's arm is broken!" She kept grabbing his arm when he was trying to play and I had to step in and tell her not to (While her mom stood by and pretended not to notice, by the way, which is my biggest pet peeve ever!!! I understand it may be awkward and people don't know how to handle it but COME ON!) She was asking questions and I was answering her but she continued to say that his arm was broken and point at it.
On the way home I talked to Gavin about saying, "Don't touch me please!" if he does not like it when someone touches him.
This experience was nothing out of the ordinary. The same thing pretty much happens every time we go there because there are always different children and children are curious. But now he is at the age where he understands when they point out his difference and I'm afraid of him getting his feelings hurt or worrying that something is wrong with his arm.
It makes me sad that he will always have to deal with the questions, the stares and the pointing. All we can do is help him feel confident about himself, develop good self-esteem and get used to answering the endless questions.
February 22, 2011
Thank you from Holland Bloorview
I received this nice email today that I thought I would share :)
HERE is the link to Gavin's video if you would like to see it again!
Dear Megan,
On behalf of Holland Bloorview Kids Rehabilitation Hospital and its Foundation, I offer our congratulations to you for your achievement in our filmpossible contest.
Holland Bloorview set out to create a contest that would bring visibility to disability. Our hope was to change the way the world views childhood disability in order to help create a better world for children with disabilities.
We challenged people to bring us their own creative twist on this theme. Holland Bloorview, our sponsors, judges and supporters alike were overwhelmed by range of entries and the courage, creativity and passion that was so evident in the entries we received.
Your video, His Abilities, was among the top 20 and was reviewed by our celebrity judges. I am pleased to share their comments:
From Karen Shopsowicz: "Gavin is a wonderful inspiration."
From Allen Braude: "Message well conveyed. Great to see Gavin always finding a way."
From Tania B. Reilly: "Great opening! Enjoyed the focus - day in the life of Gavin."
From Justin Hines: "Abilities indeed! Gavin looks like he blurs the line between able bodied/disabled."
Your contribution to filmpossible has touched people far beyond the scope of the contest. You and your fellow entrants have inspired our staff, our volunteers, helped attract new volunteers, inspired the media to cover these issues, opened dialogues among parents and children and in schools and workplaces across Canada, and brought hope and inspiration to children with disabilities and their families.
We salute you, we congratulate you, and we thank you.
Jean Geary
HERE is the link to Gavin's video if you would like to see it again!
February 18, 2011
Red Monster
For Valentine's Day we went out for dinner to Red Lobster. We had never been there together before because John has a strong hatred for seafood. But I had a pregnancy craving so I won! Gavin was with us too (What is a romantic dinner for two anyways? I really can't remember...) and he was quite interested in watching the lobsters in the tank and asking us lots of questions about what they were doing and why.
I couldn't make up my mind about what to get so I decided to just cover all my bases and get the Ultimate Feast!! YUM! Seafood craving fulfilled!
When we got home, the first thing Gavin did was run to his uncle and say, "Uncle Dave, I saw a MONSTER!!"
We were all confused for a few seconds, until I realized that he meant LOBSTER instead of monster!!! I can see how he would confuse the two. Lobsters are some creepy looking creatures with their ten legs, beady eyes, long antenna, and big, sharp claws!
I couldn't make up my mind about what to get so I decided to just cover all my bases and get the Ultimate Feast!! YUM! Seafood craving fulfilled!
When we got home, the first thing Gavin did was run to his uncle and say, "Uncle Dave, I saw a MONSTER!!"
We were all confused for a few seconds, until I realized that he meant LOBSTER instead of monster!!! I can see how he would confuse the two. Lobsters are some creepy looking creatures with their ten legs, beady eyes, long antenna, and big, sharp claws!
February 12, 2011
So real!
I keep meaning to update but I have just been fighting this horrible cold all week. I'm hoping the worst is almost over because I have been SO miserable. I NEVER get sick like this but of course it has to happen when I'm pregnant and can't take anything for it. (Only 6 weeks to go by the way!!!) And none of my natural remedies seem to be helping! Anyways, this post is not for me to complain but instead to share something pretty cool!
Gavin got a new helper hand a few weeks ago! We ordered it so he could have the option of having a hand that looks more natural than his body-powered device (which reminds me of a lobster claw but is VERY useful and functional).
This is a passive hand (he can not make it open or close), although you can manually move the fingers into different positions. So it definitely still has some functionality because he can use it to hold many different objects and do different activities.
It is made of silicone and when I first saw it, I could not believe how real it looked!! John did a perfect job of picking out the right shade. I was a little nervous because I wasn't able to attend the appointment that day so he had to pick it out without me. And I am the first to admit that I am a bit of a perfectionist and a control freak. But Daddy gets full credit for this one. Good job hun!
Now we have two attachments for the same prosthesis. He can use his body-powered arm with the strap or we can snap off the cable, unscrew the hand and screw on this silicone hand. Its actually very simple!
Gavin is still pretty resistant to wanting to wear either one but we are trying to be more consistent about it. Getting him used to wearing it can only benefit him in the long run.
At first he was trying to move his arm back and forth to open the hand, the same way his body-powered hand works. So we had to explain the difference.
Now he is a bit more tolerant of it and will wear it for longer periods of time if he is distracted enough, but he doesn't really "use" it. It tends to just hang at his side most of the time.
We still have a lot of practising to do!
Gavin got a new helper hand a few weeks ago! We ordered it so he could have the option of having a hand that looks more natural than his body-powered device (which reminds me of a lobster claw but is VERY useful and functional).This is a passive hand (he can not make it open or close), although you can manually move the fingers into different positions. So it definitely still has some functionality because he can use it to hold many different objects and do different activities.
It is made of silicone and when I first saw it, I could not believe how real it looked!! John did a perfect job of picking out the right shade. I was a little nervous because I wasn't able to attend the appointment that day so he had to pick it out without me. And I am the first to admit that I am a bit of a perfectionist and a control freak. But Daddy gets full credit for this one. Good job hun!
Now we have two attachments for the same prosthesis. He can use his body-powered arm with the strap or we can snap off the cable, unscrew the hand and screw on this silicone hand. Its actually very simple!
Gavin is still pretty resistant to wanting to wear either one but we are trying to be more consistent about it. Getting him used to wearing it can only benefit him in the long run.
At first he was trying to move his arm back and forth to open the hand, the same way his body-powered hand works. So we had to explain the difference.
Now he is a bit more tolerant of it and will wear it for longer periods of time if he is distracted enough, but he doesn't really "use" it. It tends to just hang at his side most of the time.
We still have a lot of practising to do!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
