BLOOM!

What better way to start off the New Year than on the cover of BLOOM magazine?!

Open publication - Free publishing - More parenting

About BLOOM:

"Parenting a child with a disability presents unique challenges and rewards not often addressed in mainstream parenting literature.

Holland Bloorview Kids Rehabilitation Hospital (Holland Bloorview) created BLOOM to bring together the wisdom of families and professionals in childhood disability treatment, research, real-world programs and education at Holland Bloorview and beyond.

The name BLOOM conveys our belief that every child blooms in his or her own unique way.

BLOOM is published twice each year and covers “top of mind” issues for parents of kids with disabilities. These are often unspoken or taboo topics that require specific “how-to” information. BLOOM focuses on issues that are common to parents of children with a variety of physical and developmental disabilities and highlights practical resources (web sites, books, videos, community programs) that support parents and their children.

BLOOM is mailed to parents of Ontario children who have visited Holland Bloorview in the past year as well as professional, disability, academic, government and community partners. Other parents and professionals who wish to subscribe can contact BLOOM.

BLOOM relies on an editorial committee of parents and professionals to brainstorm story ideas, network with families and disability organizations and generate feedback. Please drop us a line with your story ideas, comments or feedback.

Click here to read stories from the BLOOM archives."

Rock on Gav!!

Guess what?? Gavin FINALLY got another modeling job! He was asked to go to a photo shoot for Sears today. We were really excited because I have been constantly advocating for him ever since we were told that "once clients realize that he has one hand, they get a little scared." He has only had that one job which was over a year ago.

Anyways, we dropped everything and went to the photo shoot. It is never a guarantee because they always send two children and only use one. We were waiting in the waiting room and there was no other little boy so I thought it was looking good for Gavin. Our appointment was at 11:30 and at the LAST second, the other family showed up! The other boy was sooo SUPER cute and a similar skin tone to Gav and has already done some modeling for Sears.

When the lady finally came out she asked to see the other little guy first so I wasn't sure if they would even shoot Gavin. But when he was done she said she wanted to give Gavin a chance too. He had to wear jeans and a shirt with a guitar on it. It was a long sleeved shirt so we tried to get him to wear his prosthetic arm so that one sleeve wouldn't be rolled up. Since he NEVER wears that thing I didn't think it was going to go very well but he surprised us and kept it on the whole time with no complaints! It is way too small and it is definitely time to make an appointment with Bloorview to get him fitted for a new one.

There was a star on the floor that he had to stand on and he did SO well with that! I was impressed! They got a lot of great shots and seemed really happy with him but afterward she told me that both children did great so they weren't sure who they were going to use.

We have to wait and see which one shows up in the Sears flier on September 1st.

They were really nice though and asked us to wait around for a few minutes and then printed out a bunch of photos for us. They printed this one because they said it looks like he is playing the guitar! Even if he doesn't get used in the flier I am so happy that they printed these great photos for us to keep. Plus, it doesn't hurt for him to make some money for his bank account!

They seemed to really take to Gavin. They kept talking about his crazy long eye lashes. He was in a great mood, smiling on cue and giving everyone high 5s at the end. We were so proud of him!

So cross your fingers that our little guy is in the flier! But if not, at least we have some great photos of him to keep. And to me, this is a great step in the right direction. When was the last time you saw a child wearing a prosthesis in a flier or catalog??

Discrimination

I have vented before about the child modeling agency that Gavin is involved with. You wouldn't even know he was affiliated with them if it weren't for his profile on their website.

When I asked why he wasn't getting booked, first she said that clients get scared when they learn that he has one hand. When I called her out on that she started backpedaling and then blamed it on the fact that he wasn't in the right clothing size. Clients mostly book size 18 months. So we figured we would see what happened now that he is in that size. Well now he is almost grown out of that size and still hasn't had anything.

A few weeks ago I sent her this message:

"Here are some updated pictures of Gavin. He is 22 months now, still wearing mostly size 18 months. I will weigh him and take his height tomorrow.

I still think its crazy that he is not getting booked. Everywhere we go people stop us to tell us how cute he is. He has a lot of personality too.

He loves to say cheese and sing and talk. He also knows a lot of sign language. He is very active, with good balance and can do anything that kids with 2 hands can do.

I know that there are people out there who would be proud to show that beautiful children come in all different shapes and sizes. And unfortunately, anyone who doesn't want to give him a chance is missing out."

She updated his profile but didn't even have the decency to respond to me. I find that extremely rude!

I guess we should just remove him from the agency because she is clearly not advocating for him at all. We could really care less if he models or not. The only thing that upsets me is that I KNOW he is being discriminated against. I know if he had 2 hands he would be getting booked.

And his adorable friend Gabby (who is also an LBE) has not had any bookings in the 2 years she has been with them either. So obviously something is wrong.

Just look at how adorable they are and please explain to me why no one would want to give them a chance?

It makes me so incredibly sad and frustrated. All we want to do is spread awareness that children with limb differences are capable of doing EVERYTHING that other children can do.

Right now they are too young to understand how unfair this world can be. I dread the moment that they are faced with the harsh realization of how ignorant some people are.

Talking in circles

Don't mind me, I'm just venting...

OK so I ended up calling Gav's modeling agent today. I just wanted to ask her what the clients had said and what their concerns were (you know, the ones that get scared when they learn he has 1 hand.)

I ended up quite unsatisfied with our conversation. I wasn't upset or trying to blame her. I just wanted to know more about what clients said when they decided not to use him because of his arm. Maybe they had concerns that I could address. But she said that no client has said anything about his arm because there has been no interest in him since he has been the wrong clothing size until now. I was so confused why she made that comment (Direct quote: "I understand, he is so cute, however once clients realize that he has one hand, they get a little scared.") in her email if that was not the case. I did not appreciate being told that I was "taking it too personally" and "reading too much into it." Um, no, I'm not taking it personally or reading too much into it. I'm just wondering why you said that clients get scared when they learn my son has 1 hand. She never really gave me a straight answer.

She brought up how she is the only agency in Canada that has special needs children. (Although Gavin is not in the special needs section.) She also brought up that they have another little girl who has 1 hand. I said, yes, I know and Gabrielle hasn't been booked at all, has she? Then she started talking about Gabby's profile being out of date and how she was the wrong size.

So is it that they are the wrong size or that they have 1 hand?

I asked her if she tries to advocate for Gavin. I don't remember exactly what she said but I think she started talking about advocating for all the special needs children.

She said that she is obligated to tell clients about his arm because if he shows up and they're unable to use him, she will be held responsible. She gave me an example of what if they wanted him to hold onto something or push a stroller or something. I said that he is more than capable of pushing a stroller, holding onto things, and doing anything else. I also brought up that he has a prosthetic arm he can wear if they need him to. She said, "OK, I will keep that in mind." She is already aware that he has a prosthetic arm so I'm not sure how that changes anything...

I think my questions made her uncomfortable because she seemed to be getting defensive and I felt like she was rushing me off the phone. Overall, not impressed.

John thinks we should try to find someone else to represent Gavin. I don't know. I'm hoping now that Gavin is size 18 months, which is the size they book the most for catalogues and flyers, and now that I have brought some things to her attention, that maybe she will advocate for him more. We will see.

Whether he models or not is not a big deal to us. It is more a matter of principle. Why should he not be given the opportunity when he would be great at it? He is very photogenic and loves being in front of a camera.

I'm the type of person who when someone tells me I can't do something, it makes me even more determined to prove that I can. This is how I feel about this situation. I want to show Gavin that when someone tells him he can't do something that he KEEPS trying until he finds a way.

Cloth is cool!

So although the modeling world has proven to be quite superficial so far (surprise, surprise!), there are still some people who aren't 'scared' to show children with limb differences modeling their products.

One example I can give you is goodmama diapers.

A lot of people thought we were crazy for wanting to use cloth diapers on our baby but I knew a few people who did it and it didn't seem like the horror story that people make it out to be. Every time someone doubted that I would be able to stick with it, it made me that much more determined to do it.

Being new to cloth diapers, it can be a little overwhelming at first. There are so many different kinds (pockets, fitteds, all-in-ones, prefolds...) and then there are a million different brands as well. We ended up trying out several kinds during Gavin's first few months, trying to decide which ones were the best fit for him and which type we preferred using. I fell in love with the goodmama brand. (How do you fall in love with cloth diapers? Goodmamas are so soft, fit perfectly, I love that they are one-size, and I especially love all the cute colours and prints!) An added bonus was the weekly photo contest they used to have, which I entered Gavin into several times in hopes of winning a free diaper.

Here are the shots that graced their website. I was so proud each & every time!
4 months old

8 months old

9 months old

10 months old
I had a lot of fun with all our little photo shoots while it lasted and ended up with a lot of great pictures!

What are they scared of?

Gavin's modeling agency recently emailed me asking me for updated pictures and measurements. I sent them and made a comment that he has only had 1 booking since he has been with them (about a year).

I got this response, "I understand, he is so cute, however once clients realize that he has one hand, they get a little scared."

I'm not sure how to handle this. There were a lot of things I wanted to say out of anger but I didn't. I asked "What are they scared of?"and she responded with, "my thoughts exactly, I try to get them to book my children with Downs Syndrome as well. Now that Gavin is the size that they need, hopefully they will book him."

How would you handle this?

I don't know if there is any point of him doing this anymore but I also feel that we should keep him enrolled so that hopefully someone will eventually book him and not be afraid to show off his difference. Lets be honest, you never see kids with limb differences in catalogues, magazines, commercials, etc. Once in a while you will see a child in a wheel chair or with another type of disability. But if we withdraw him I feel like we're just giving in and accepting that children with limb differences will never be able to model.

We already had a negative experience where his agent called and asked if Gavin could do a photoshoot with Zellers. I said "sure" and asked if they knew about his arm. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I don't know why I asked. But she said she would call me right back and then told me that it was a short-sleeved shirt he would be wearing so Zellers decided to pass on Gavin for now.

I was really upset about that. Not that he missed out on being in their flyer. But because its unfair that they rejected him based on his arm. He would have been the cutest kid in the flyer! ;)

Looking back I wish I had have followed up with Zellers and called them on their discrimination. But I just let it go. Now I feel that its our responsibility to advocate for Gavin and prove that there is nothing scary about showing someone who is different.

Happy Valentine's Day

Gavin recently had a Valentine's themed photo shoot with our dear friend Annya, of Annya Miller Photography. She really does an incredible job and Gavin loves her. We all do. Just the other day John said to me, "I love Annya. Is it wrong for me to say that about another woman? I don't care. I love Annya." Haha! Yes, I know John. Its OK, I love her too!

I am soooo in love with these photos, I couldn't resist sharing some with you.

Take time to stop & smell the roses this Valentine's Day!



Our little Romeo!



Blowing kisses! xoxo



Wishing you all a very sweet Valentine's Day!



Love, Gavin
xoxo

Gav & Gab

Gavin had the pleasure of getting together with his girlfriend Gabrielle today! (Don't mind his expression, or worry that he is being strangled. It is just a very tight hug or maybe she is paying him back for the time he got her in a choke hold...) Anyways, now that the craziness of the holidays is over we will hopefully be able to get together on a regular basis again. We always look forward to our play dates together!

So how did this awesomely adorable duo meet, you may be wondering? I think it was fate! OK well here is the story but I think it really would have just been a matter of time before we crossed paths!

I think it was just over a year ago. After hearing so many people gush about how he was the cutest baby they had ever seen (it didn't really take much to convince me but I am a little bias of course!) I decided to see what his options were. I came across one that seemed legit and filled out an application online. I was supposed to include 3 pictures. Of course I was wondering if his limb difference would have any affect on his chances. So I decided to only include pictures of his face. That way, if he didn't get accepted, I would know that it wasn't because of his arm.

Weeks went by and I totally forgot about the application. Then one day I got an email that they wanted to represent Gavin! I was very excited and proud! So I called them back and we discussed some of the details. I wasn't really sure how to approach it but near the end of the conversation I just blurted out that Gavin is missing part of his left arm and I hope that won't be a problem. To my surprise, she told me that actually, they already have a client who is missing her left hand. A little girl named Gabrielle!

WOW! I was amazed by this. Maybe the modeling world wasn't so superficial after all! (I will have to write more about this later since unfortunately I don't believe this to be true at all). Anyways, she asked me if I would be interested in speaking to Gabrielle's mom and I said "Sure!" and agreed for her to pass on our phone number.

Not long later, the phone rang and it was Gabrielle's mom! She introduced herself as Janelle, and we immediately started chatting away like we had known each other for years. We had so much in common and also lived ridiculously close to each other! I think we probably could have talked for a week straight without running out of things to say.

We arranged to meet up for their first little play date. I was a bit nervous of whether we would get along in person. I remember hoping that she wouldn't be weird in person!! Hahaha!!! Thankfully I thought we had a great connection and it was awesome meeting them both. I was so amazed by Gabby. She is 7 months older than Gavin so she is always a few steps ahead. Which has been great for me to see how she does certain things and kind of know what to expect when Gavin gets to that stage. For example, the first time I saw Gabby clapping away on her left arm. It makes sense that she would clap like that but it was the first time I saw it. I had thought Gavin wouldn't be able to clap since he doesn't have 2 hands but I was so wrong! And now that I have met several little arm amputees, I see that its just a natural thing. They all clap pretty much the same way.

I was also so impressed with the way Gabby would walk around sticking toys under her armpit. She could carry a million things at once! That's another common thing for arm amputees but when you have never been around anyone with a limb difference, you don't know these things. It can be overwhelming having a young baby missing a limb or a hand and wondering how they are going to do all these simple, every day tasks.

CHAMP has a Matching Mothers program (which is more about Matching FAMILIES). Janelle & I just happened to match ourselves, but it is an awesome resource for parents. It is an indescribable feeling to have someone that completely understands. No matter how much support you have from friends & family, its not the same as having a friend who knows EXACTLY what its like. (also it doesn't hurt that you can get meals and travel expenses reimbursed from War Amps for visits with your matched family).

And most importantly, it is SO wonderful for the kids. Gavin & Gabrielle are already such great friends. They've already had countless play dates and both attended each others birthday parties. We also got to spend the weekend together at a hotel in London, ON for an annual CHAMP seminar back in October.

Janelle & Josh are awesome parents who have raised a super awesome little girl! We feel very blessed to have them in our lives. And I should give them a big CONGRATULATIONS because they are expecting another little one in March! It might be a little strange because their new baby is said to have all of his or her parts but I'm sure they will adjust just fine! :P

Gavin doesn't talk much yet but when I asked him today if he wanted to go see Gabby, he gave me a big, enthusiastic, "Yaaa!"

They have a very special bond and I hope it continues into a lifelong friendship! (Sorry guys, but you're not getting rid of us that easy!) ;)