CHAMPS in Ottawa!

Last weekend we went to Ottawa for Gavin's 3rd CHAMP seminar. It was a highly anticipated trip because Gavin knew for several weeks that we were taking the train! It was our first time on the VIA train and it was a success! I wish we could take the train everywhere, instead of driving. It is so much easier with the little ones, not having to keep them confined to their car seats for several hours. Janelle and Gabby were with us and it was lots of fun!


The train ride was 4 hours and the kids were amazing. It helped that Janelle had lots of tricks up her sleeve to keep them entertained. And little Eden slept most of the way and didn't make a peep.



At one point they even put a blanket over the table and then looked at books in their fort!


It was a great weekend. My favourite part is always seeing all the kids playing together. I love how everyone is instant friends, whether they haven't seen each other for a year or it is their first time meeting. We always meet some awesome parents too!

This year Janelle and I were asked to do a little interview together for the "Matching Mothers" program. They asked us some questions about how we met, how we feel about coming to the seminars and how far we have come since finding out about our babies' limb differences. Miss Eden even got to make a cameo in the interview! She kept crying when I tried to leave her in her stroller and then we would have to start the interview over so finally, they just said I could hold her. After the interview they wanted some shots of the kids playing together. There were multiple hugs, which eventually ended in tears, since Gavin's hugs tend to involve tackling Gabby to the ground. We are working on that...

I think the most fun was when the amputees took over the hotel's swimming pool! Ha! I love to see the looks on other people's faces when kids start jumping in the pool with their swim legs on and swimming around like nobody's business! :)

We have been working on getting Gavin to wear his "mighty machine arm" more frequently so it helped for him to see other kids with their prosthetics on. (Although I still don't think he really cared). But he is doing well with it when we can get him to leave it on. (Tough love!)

I didn't get many pictures because my camera was acting up. But I love how proud he is in this one! He was showing me how he can hold the bus with his mighty machine arm. I am so proud of our little CHAMP and I can't believe how big he is getting!!

It was great for him and Gabby to spend the whole weekend together. They were inseperable and so cute together! Janelle got them these Sammy's Friend's T-shirts and wrote on them with fabric markers. Gavin's says "Gabby's arm buddy" on the back and Gabby's says "Gavin's arm buddy". Then she wrote on the left sleeve "God made me this way". I love them! Sorry this is the only picture I have but trust me, they are super cute!


If you are interested in your own Sammy's Friends shirt, you can purchase one here!

Imagine...Amazing Me!

We received our copy of "Imagine...Amazing Me!" by Libbi Chilia

This is a book that every child with a limb difference should have. Think of how it would feel to be a child with an amputation growing up in a world where everywhere you look, you see people with two arms, two hands, ten fingers, two legs, two feet...all their "parts". All the children in books, on TV, in the playground, at school...

Think how nice it would be to have a book full of beautiful pictures of kids JUST LIKE YOU! This book is full of bright, colourful pictures of REAL children showing off how they don't let their differences hold them back! From playing the piano to sports like soccer, baseball and even ballet, these children prove that there is nothing they can't do!!

My personal favourites are of a little girl named Megan who is a LBE (left below elbow) like Gavin. I especially love the picture of her tying her shoe because I have often wondered how Gavin will do with learning that skill. I have seen a video of someone using their other foot to hold the lace while they tie it with one hand. But Megan uses her right hand and left arm to do it.

There is also a picture of her playing cards and she is holding her cards in her left arm and they are all perfectly spread out. I know there are special devices to help amputees hold a hand of cards but who needs those when you're as resourceful as Megan?! I love how they always figure things out!

And if you're not convinced to buy it yet, let me point out that the money made from the sales of this book will be donated to organizations that support children with limb differences including the ACA Camp and I-CAN!

This book is an excellent resource but if your child doesn't know any other children with a similar limb difference, I REALLY recommend finding a support group that can help you connect with another family in your area. Canadian families can access the Matching Mothers program through CHAMP.

My only constructive criticism for this book is that each picture is labeled with the child's name, age and city...but Gabriel's picture simply says "Gabriel, age 4, Canada". Where in Canada? It is a pretty big place you know! ;)

Familiar Feelings for Parents

We received it a few days ago and John and I have been reading through the booklet we requested from the War Amps CHAMP program. Its called "Parenting the Amputee Child" (Janelle, I have a copy for you by the way, I forgot to give it to you today!)

For those who don't know, the CHAMP program serves Canadian amputee children up to age 18 regardless of their type of amputation (congential, accidental or medical). CHAMP also provides amazing support for families, financial coverage of artificial limbs and recreational devices, helpful info and resources about amputation and prosthetics, as well as seminars and peer support.

The following information is just one example of all the resources they supply free of charge. The following is summarized in my own words from "Parenting the Amputee Child", based on the work of the CHAMP program.

The first part talks about the most common feelings that parents of amputee children experience. Obviously, everyone's feelings are very different and no two experiences are exactly the same. Many of the feelings are connected to each other.

Acknowledging your feelings is the only way to work through them. Then parents are able to focus on looking ahead and meeting their child's needs with a realistic, positive approach.

ANGER
Anger is often over the simple fact that your child has an amputation and what could have caused it. You may feel that it is extremely unfair and even be "angry at the world". Anger can present itself in many ways, including arguing and resentment.

BLAME
Blame can be felt internally and expressed outwardly as well. Mother's often blame themselves, thinking they could have done something to prevent this from happening to their child. Parents may feel that the amputation was their fault.
Some parents blame environmental factors such as acid rain, fertilizers, pesticides, medications, radiation, pollution or even computers. But it is only in VERY rare instances (like the Thalidomide crisis in the 50s & 60s) that congenital amputation is directly linked to environmental causes.

DOUBT & DISCOMFORT
As a parent, this whole area of "amputation" is probably completely new to you. You will meet a lot of different professionals (doctors, orthopaedic surgeon, prosthetist, occupational or physical therapist...) The terminology may be unfamiliar and overwhelming. At first parents might doubt their abilities to make the best decisions for their child, with so much advice coming at them from different directions.

AGONIZING (OVER "WHAT IF...?")
Parents may wonder if the amputation could have been prevented and subject themselves to countless "What if..." questions. This is like unnecessary torture to parents. And all those questions do not change a thing.

GRIEF
Grief over the loss of a body part has been compared to the grief of losing a loved one. It is very common to feel grief at the time of finding out about your child's amputation or at the time of an accident resulting in amputation.
There are said to be several stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
Each person's grief is different and not everyone goes through the same stages or to the same degree.

GUILT & SHAME
This happens when parents blame themselves for their child's amputation. Parents may even feel guilt and shame because of wondering what others will think about their child and if others will judge their parents for assuming they were the ones to cause it.

PITY
You may feel sorry for yourself and some people will probably feel sorry for you. You and others may express pity towards the child, which gives the impression that there is something wrong with the child or something wrong with being an amputee. This can leave your child feeling powerless with a negative outlook on life. Amputees often say the comments they dislike the most are those that imply they should be felt sorry for or looked after.

REJECTION
Parents may be shocked and not know how to react when they first find out. As a result, they may withdraw from the situation and the baby. Rejection can also be silent with the family member holding it inside.
Another form comes from focusing on finding a perfect prosthesis which can become more about making the child "whole" or "fixing" their limb, instead of the reality of what the child can achieve with his or her own body.

SADNESS
Parents may feel varying degrees of sadness or depression when they learn their newborn baby doesn't have the 10 fingers and 10 toes they were imagining. Parents are suddenly faced with a reality they know little to nothing about. Not knowing how to help your child can make parents feel helpless, afraid and inadequate.
Overwhelming feelings can cause parents to become depressed, so dealing with them early on is essential.

WORRY
Parents often worry about how their child will cope. A million questions may pop into your head.
Will he be able to swim or ride a bike?
How will others react?
Will he be made fun of?
Will her self-esteem be affected?
Will she be able to drive?

Meeting other families who have had similar experiences can help ease these worries and give you a more realistic idea of what to expect. It is also wonderful to see how successful and athletic other children are with similar amputations to your child. This is hopefully when parents start to realize that there is no limit to what their children will be able to achieve!

CHAMP also has a wonderful program for matching families.

Gav & Gab

Gavin had the pleasure of getting together with his girlfriend Gabrielle today! (Don't mind his expression, or worry that he is being strangled. It is just a very tight hug or maybe she is paying him back for the time he got her in a choke hold...) Anyways, now that the craziness of the holidays is over we will hopefully be able to get together on a regular basis again. We always look forward to our play dates together!

So how did this awesomely adorable duo meet, you may be wondering? I think it was fate! OK well here is the story but I think it really would have just been a matter of time before we crossed paths!

I think it was just over a year ago. After hearing so many people gush about how he was the cutest baby they had ever seen (it didn't really take much to convince me but I am a little bias of course!) I decided to see what his options were. I came across one that seemed legit and filled out an application online. I was supposed to include 3 pictures. Of course I was wondering if his limb difference would have any affect on his chances. So I decided to only include pictures of his face. That way, if he didn't get accepted, I would know that it wasn't because of his arm.

Weeks went by and I totally forgot about the application. Then one day I got an email that they wanted to represent Gavin! I was very excited and proud! So I called them back and we discussed some of the details. I wasn't really sure how to approach it but near the end of the conversation I just blurted out that Gavin is missing part of his left arm and I hope that won't be a problem. To my surprise, she told me that actually, they already have a client who is missing her left hand. A little girl named Gabrielle!

WOW! I was amazed by this. Maybe the modeling world wasn't so superficial after all! (I will have to write more about this later since unfortunately I don't believe this to be true at all). Anyways, she asked me if I would be interested in speaking to Gabrielle's mom and I said "Sure!" and agreed for her to pass on our phone number.

Not long later, the phone rang and it was Gabrielle's mom! She introduced herself as Janelle, and we immediately started chatting away like we had known each other for years. We had so much in common and also lived ridiculously close to each other! I think we probably could have talked for a week straight without running out of things to say.

We arranged to meet up for their first little play date. I was a bit nervous of whether we would get along in person. I remember hoping that she wouldn't be weird in person!! Hahaha!!! Thankfully I thought we had a great connection and it was awesome meeting them both. I was so amazed by Gabby. She is 7 months older than Gavin so she is always a few steps ahead. Which has been great for me to see how she does certain things and kind of know what to expect when Gavin gets to that stage. For example, the first time I saw Gabby clapping away on her left arm. It makes sense that she would clap like that but it was the first time I saw it. I had thought Gavin wouldn't be able to clap since he doesn't have 2 hands but I was so wrong! And now that I have met several little arm amputees, I see that its just a natural thing. They all clap pretty much the same way.

I was also so impressed with the way Gabby would walk around sticking toys under her armpit. She could carry a million things at once! That's another common thing for arm amputees but when you have never been around anyone with a limb difference, you don't know these things. It can be overwhelming having a young baby missing a limb or a hand and wondering how they are going to do all these simple, every day tasks.

CHAMP has a Matching Mothers program (which is more about Matching FAMILIES). Janelle & I just happened to match ourselves, but it is an awesome resource for parents. It is an indescribable feeling to have someone that completely understands. No matter how much support you have from friends & family, its not the same as having a friend who knows EXACTLY what its like. (also it doesn't hurt that you can get meals and travel expenses reimbursed from War Amps for visits with your matched family).

And most importantly, it is SO wonderful for the kids. Gavin & Gabrielle are already such great friends. They've already had countless play dates and both attended each others birthday parties. We also got to spend the weekend together at a hotel in London, ON for an annual CHAMP seminar back in October.

Janelle & Josh are awesome parents who have raised a super awesome little girl! We feel very blessed to have them in our lives. And I should give them a big CONGRATULATIONS because they are expecting another little one in March! It might be a little strange because their new baby is said to have all of his or her parts but I'm sure they will adjust just fine! :P

Gavin doesn't talk much yet but when I asked him today if he wanted to go see Gabby, he gave me a big, enthusiastic, "Yaaa!"

They have a very special bond and I hope it continues into a lifelong friendship! (Sorry guys, but you're not getting rid of us that easy!) ;)