Janelle's BLOOM clip

I feel bad that I haven't been posting here very often. I keep meaning to but it is just hard to find the time lately!

Would you like to hear a long list of excuses or should I just skip right to the post?

We have lots of pictures and news to share!

First I want to share a link to the BLOOM blog where you can find lots of great video clips and resources from other parents.

Janelle (Miss Gabrielle's awesome mom) talks to Louise and shares some advice about dealing with questions and stares from other people and the importance of staying positive! I am so proud of Janelle because I just LOVE her answers and advice and I know how helpful it could be to new parents. Listening to this interview when I was pregnant with Gavin and dealing with the shock of finding out about his limb difference would have made a world of difference to me.

TALKING ABOUT LIMB DIFFERENCE

So I just want to make a shout out to my friend Janelle! You rock! We are SO blessed to have such awesome kids and to have each other too!

(I will be back soon with an update about the Filmpossible Fete!!)

Shifting focus from disability to possibility

Check out this article by Ann Douglas in today's Toronto Star! She interviewed several parents (including me!!) about bringing visibility to disability, tying in to the theme of the filmpossible contest.

Parents shift focus from disability to possibility

I will copy and paste the article just in case the link gets removed eventually.

THE MOTHER OF ALL BABY COLUMNS
Douglas: Parents shift focus from disability to possibility
August 3, 2011

Ann Douglas

When Andrea McDowell was seven months pregnant, the baby she was carrying was diagnosed with dwarfism.

“Initially, I was more or less terrified because no one could explain to me what the diagnosis meant,” the Hamilton mother of one recalls. “And, at this stage, the only thing you know about your kid is what is potentially wrong with them. You don’t yet know who they are as a person.”

Sharon Aschaiek, a Toronto mother of one and disability advocate (autismresolutionontario.com) whose 5-year-old son Jaden was diagnosed with autism at the age of two-and-a-half, remembers the sense of urgency she felt at the time: how her worry about his future made it difficult for her to relax and enjoy her son.

“You can get too caught up in the future. I had to learn to relate to Jaden in the moment — to really be there in the moment, too. Instead of worrying about the future, I had to realize that I was shaping that future right now.”

Once she made that shift in perspective, she experienced less anxiety and more joy. “What you see is what you get with Jaden. His love is unfiltered. I feel lucky to be raising him. He is a really special child.”

Aschaiek was wise to let go of the need to control a situation that is often out of the parent’s control, says Amy Baskin, mother of two, a volunteer and advocate in the special-needs world, and co-author of More Than A Mom: Living a Full and Balanced Life When Your Child Has Special Needs (amybaskin.com).

Advocate, yes, she advises, but don’t let your child’s disability become the focus of your relationship. “Hang out and do the fun kid stuff. Tune into your child and recognize your child’s unique personality, strengths and talents. Create a village around your child. And connect with other parents who are in the same boat.” According to Baskin, you shouldn’t have much difficulty finding other families in a similar situation: One in five families has a child who has special needs.

Tapping into support from others who truly understand can change everything. Peterborough mother of two Linda Viscardis remembers hearing Northwestern University communications professor John McKnight speak 22 years ago about the value that people with disabilities bring to the world. “That speech changed my life,” she recalls.

At the time, Viscardis was hungry for inspiration. Her eldest child, Laura, then 5, had been diagnosed with a chromosomal abnormality during her first year of life — and had almost died on a couple of occasions. The combined pressures of taking Laura to speech, physio and occupational therapy and caring for a new baby had taken a toll on her. She had experienced a major depression the previous year.

What McKnight said changed everything for Linda and for Laura.

“He talked about the importance of creating strong, healthy communities — how every single person in the community has strengths and gifts and the capacity to contribute. We changed the expectations we placed on Laura and that in turn changed the expectations she placed on herself. Today, at age 27, she lives in her own apartment, works part-time and volunteers at a seniors’ residence. She’s more computer literate than I am and she has a large circle of friends. She has surpassed every single expectation we have ever had for her.”

Toronto mother Megan Daley feels that making disabilities more visible is a crucial first step to changing attitudes and expectations. (Her son Gavin’s left arm didn’t fully develop in utero, so his arm ends at the elbow.) To encourage people to focus on what Gavin, now 3, can do rather than what he can’t, Daley is participating in filmpossible (a contest organized by Holland Bloorview Kids Rehabilitation Hospital in Toronto in an effort to “bring visibility to disability”) for the second year in a row. (Note: For information about this year’s filmpossible contest, which now features photography, please visit www.filmpossible.ca.)

Last year’s video — titled His Abilities — focused on a day in the life of Gavin, who was then 2. “We like to show people what he is capable of,” explains Daley. This year’s entry — titled I Can Be Me — features Gavin and his friend Gabby, who has the same type of amputation as Gavin. (The aim of this year’s entry, according to Daley, is to show other young children that kids with amputations are just kids.)

The first few years after a child’s disability is diagnosed are really difficult, say parents who have been there. As time goes on, you are able to focus less on the disability and more on the child.

As Andrea McDowell, whose daughter, Frances, is now 7-1/2 puts it: “Now she’s just Frances and she’s fabulous and we have a wonderful life together.”

Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (Wiley Canada, 2nd Canadian Edition, June 2011) www.having-a-baby.com. You can find all of her columns on the Star’s parenting website, parentcentral.ca.

Gavin's Favourite Spot

Our little guy has been really under the weather lately. He has been fighting off chronic ear infections and he is just not his happy self. We are doing everything we can to try to boost his immune system and help him get healthy.

The nights are the worst. I guess I can thank him for preparing us for having a newborn again. It shouldn't be too much of an adjustment in the night-waking department. He never really slept through the night in the first place. It is a rare occurrence that he doesn't wake up at least once. But lately, it is several times a night and he is just miserable. Poor guy :(

I'm so glad I am off work now and have been able to give him lots of extra cuddles and TLC.


I think he's going to miss his favourite spot!

(I'm 37 weeks and the countdown is on!!)

So real!

I keep meaning to update but I have just been fighting this horrible cold all week. I'm hoping the worst is almost over because I have been SO miserable. I NEVER get sick like this but of course it has to happen when I'm pregnant and can't take anything for it. (Only 6 weeks to go by the way!!!) And none of my natural remedies seem to be helping! Anyways, this post is not for me to complain but instead to share something pretty cool!

Gavin got a new helper hand a few weeks ago! We ordered it so he could have the option of having a hand that looks more natural than his body-powered device (which reminds me of a lobster claw but is VERY useful and functional).

This is a passive hand (he can not make it open or close), although you can manually move the fingers into different positions. So it definitely still has some functionality because he can use it to hold many different objects and do different activities.

It is made of silicone and when I first saw it, I could not believe how real it looked!! John did a perfect job of picking out the right shade. I was a little nervous because I wasn't able to attend the appointment that day so he had to pick it out without me. And I am the first to admit that I am a bit of a perfectionist and a control freak. But Daddy gets full credit for this one. Good job hun!


Now we have two attachments for the same prosthesis. He can use his body-powered arm with the strap or we can snap off the cable, unscrew the hand and screw on this silicone hand. Its actually very simple!

Gavin is still pretty resistant to wanting to wear either one but we are trying to be more consistent about it. Getting him used to wearing it can only benefit him in the long run.

At first he was trying to move his arm back and forth to open the hand, the same way his body-powered hand works. So we had to explain the difference.

Now he is a bit more tolerant of it and will wear it for longer periods of time if he is distracted enough, but he doesn't really "use" it. It tends to just hang at his side most of the time.

We still have a lot of practising to do!

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone has thoroughly enjoyed their holidays! We have been busy around here. Christmas came so fast this year. I don't think December has ever flown by so fast for me in all my life! But before I knew it, it was here. It came so fast that it didn't really feel like Christmas. But once we were up north with my parents, that started to change. There is nothing like going home for Christmas. And I love all the beautiful snow. There is nowhere else I would rather be this time of year.

On Christmas Eve, Gavin left out chocolate milk and cookies for Santa and some celery for the reindeer (we were out of carrots). He was so excited in the morning to come downstairs and see that Santa came!

Each time he opened something he liked, that was it. He was good. He didn't want to open anything else. There were some animal markers in his stocking and he was satisfied with that. Soon he got into opening presents...until he opened the fire truck from Uncle Brian. It was over!

He was sooo happy! This fire truck has a fire fighter, ladder, a hose, sirens and even a radio! Gavin was in heaven. He played with his fire truck all morning and had no interest in opening any other presents.

I think this picture does a good job of capturing his overwhelming joy!


I also love this picture (taken with my new camera! YAY!)


We got all bundled up and Grampa took Gavin for a ride in his new sled and it was so priceless to hear how he laughed and giggled in delight! He loved it!

Our New Years was quiet. I have been fighting a cold and didn't feel like going anywhere and John had to work. So Gavin and I cuddled and watched TV in bed until we passed out around 10:30pm.

Now there are less than 3 months until the arrival of our new little bundle of joy! We are eagerly anticipating his or her arrival! (We chose not to find out the gender this time around).

2011 has some wonderful surprises in store and we are so excited!

Unwanted Advice

So yesterday Gavin and I took the bus up to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. Usually the bus is mostly empty but of course, being Thanksgiving weekend, it was completely packed, the driver was delayed and traffic was horrible. GREAT. And of course, Gavin was a complete two-year-old (and not the good kind). I badly wanted to ask the driver to pull over and leave him on the side of the road. THAT's how bad it was. YELLING , hitting me, refusing to sit down. AHHH! I was mortified. It felt like everyone was listening to us and I was failing some sort of mother test. When we finally stopped for a little break, the guy who was sitting in front of us moved to the VERY front of the bus, as far away from us as he could get.

After our little break, Gavin behaved perfectly, sitting in his seat and looking out the window. Eventually he was so tired, he fell asleep on me and I finally dozed off too. Then I felt someone patting me on the shoulder asking, "You awake? You awake?" I kept my eyes closed, thinking he would see that NO, in fact I am NOT awake, but he continued until finally I opened my eyes, looked at him and said, "Well I am NOW!"

This didn't phase him. This random old man started telling me that if I ever have any problems I can email him because he works at a school with disabled kids as a janitor. I just wanted to tell him that my son is actually NOT disabled at all and what the hell does he know about solving any problems we might encounter? But instead I just kept my head turned away and closed my eyes again to avoid having to talk to him at all. This did not phase him at all and he continued to talk to me, going on about how it takes so much extra love and patience to raise a disabled child.

I just wanted him to shut up and leave me alone. Then it got worse. He asked me "You're not having another one are you?" and actually reached over and touched my stomach!!!!! Yes, the HORROR!!!!!

I pulled away and rudely said, "Yes, I am actually!" and he told me not to eat any bad apples. What the hell is that supposed to mean??

Thank God he got off then, which I guess was why he was so desperate to wake me up out of my long-awaited sleep to have this "heart-to-heart" with me before we parted ways.

I'm sure he had good intentions but seriously.... WTF!

B is for Big Brother!!!

Gavin has a very important announcement to make...

He is going to be a BIG BROTHER!!!

That's right...Mommy is rockin' a BIG BELLY!

And we will be welcoming a new BABY to our family at the end of March / beginning of April 2011!

We are very BLESSED!!!

This was a very busy and hectic week with my first week working full time so we didn't do a whole lot with the Letter of the Week. But Gavin did learn the ASL sign for "B".

And he had his first trip to the BARBER! I have been delaying getting his hair cut for as long as possible because I am so in love with his curls (although I'm not in love with trying to brush them and keep them looking nice). So I finally gave in and agreed to take him in for a trim!
BEFORE:

AFTER:

It doesn't look a whole lot different and I was very happy that he still has his beautiful curls! It is just a bit neater now and the back isn't so dry and nappy. I didn't even cry!

Reflections of Motherhood

I just wanted to share this beautiful video with all the Moms out there! Thanks Annya for sharing it with me :)

100th Post

Wow. Can you believe this is my ONE HUNDREDTH POST?! Who knew I would end up with so much to say??

When I wrote my First Post my goal was pretty simple. To share our story and hopefully reach out to other parents of children with limb differences.

The reason I wanted to do this was because when I was pregnant and we found out that Gavin's left arm didn't finish developing, we were devastated. We had never heard of anything like it. We didn't know anyone else who went through anything similar. I tried searching for information online but I didn't even know what to search for. We felt very alone. Part of me felt guilty, wondering if it was something I had done to cause this. All I could think of was my poor little baby, who would be born without a hand. I didn't know how he would be able to do simple things that we take for granted. My biggest fear was that everyone would stare at him and that other children would make fun of him. I just wanted to protect my baby from the rest of the world.

I posted our news in an online pregnancy community I was part of. And someone responded that she knew a child who was born without his right hand. I can't even explain the feeling I had when I connected with Patti and her son Tate. I looked through all of Tate's pictures. They were pictures of an absolutely adorable little boy, loving life and doing anything and everything you would expect of an active boy full of energy and enthusiasm. I poured over his pictures and began to realize that his arm was just a small part of who he was. His big smile and wild hair were a lot more eye-catching than the absence of his hand.

This was a huge turning point for me. And the purpose of this blog was hopefully to help someone else overcome the unknown and scary thought of having a child with a limb difference by showing that its really not as important as you think it is. Gavin has never let it hold him back from anything.

There have been a few times so far that other parents have found this blog and commented to thank me for writing it because they found it so helpful. Those comments have made everything worthwhile.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of this little journey. I plan to continue writing as long as there are people to continue reading!

Familiar Feelings for Parents

We received it a few days ago and John and I have been reading through the booklet we requested from the War Amps CHAMP program. Its called "Parenting the Amputee Child" (Janelle, I have a copy for you by the way, I forgot to give it to you today!)

For those who don't know, the CHAMP program serves Canadian amputee children up to age 18 regardless of their type of amputation (congential, accidental or medical). CHAMP also provides amazing support for families, financial coverage of artificial limbs and recreational devices, helpful info and resources about amputation and prosthetics, as well as seminars and peer support.

The following information is just one example of all the resources they supply free of charge. The following is summarized in my own words from "Parenting the Amputee Child", based on the work of the CHAMP program.

The first part talks about the most common feelings that parents of amputee children experience. Obviously, everyone's feelings are very different and no two experiences are exactly the same. Many of the feelings are connected to each other.

Acknowledging your feelings is the only way to work through them. Then parents are able to focus on looking ahead and meeting their child's needs with a realistic, positive approach.

ANGER
Anger is often over the simple fact that your child has an amputation and what could have caused it. You may feel that it is extremely unfair and even be "angry at the world". Anger can present itself in many ways, including arguing and resentment.

BLAME
Blame can be felt internally and expressed outwardly as well. Mother's often blame themselves, thinking they could have done something to prevent this from happening to their child. Parents may feel that the amputation was their fault.
Some parents blame environmental factors such as acid rain, fertilizers, pesticides, medications, radiation, pollution or even computers. But it is only in VERY rare instances (like the Thalidomide crisis in the 50s & 60s) that congenital amputation is directly linked to environmental causes.

DOUBT & DISCOMFORT
As a parent, this whole area of "amputation" is probably completely new to you. You will meet a lot of different professionals (doctors, orthopaedic surgeon, prosthetist, occupational or physical therapist...) The terminology may be unfamiliar and overwhelming. At first parents might doubt their abilities to make the best decisions for their child, with so much advice coming at them from different directions.

AGONIZING (OVER "WHAT IF...?")
Parents may wonder if the amputation could have been prevented and subject themselves to countless "What if..." questions. This is like unnecessary torture to parents. And all those questions do not change a thing.

GRIEF
Grief over the loss of a body part has been compared to the grief of losing a loved one. It is very common to feel grief at the time of finding out about your child's amputation or at the time of an accident resulting in amputation.
There are said to be several stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
Each person's grief is different and not everyone goes through the same stages or to the same degree.

GUILT & SHAME
This happens when parents blame themselves for their child's amputation. Parents may even feel guilt and shame because of wondering what others will think about their child and if others will judge their parents for assuming they were the ones to cause it.

PITY
You may feel sorry for yourself and some people will probably feel sorry for you. You and others may express pity towards the child, which gives the impression that there is something wrong with the child or something wrong with being an amputee. This can leave your child feeling powerless with a negative outlook on life. Amputees often say the comments they dislike the most are those that imply they should be felt sorry for or looked after.

REJECTION
Parents may be shocked and not know how to react when they first find out. As a result, they may withdraw from the situation and the baby. Rejection can also be silent with the family member holding it inside.
Another form comes from focusing on finding a perfect prosthesis which can become more about making the child "whole" or "fixing" their limb, instead of the reality of what the child can achieve with his or her own body.

SADNESS
Parents may feel varying degrees of sadness or depression when they learn their newborn baby doesn't have the 10 fingers and 10 toes they were imagining. Parents are suddenly faced with a reality they know little to nothing about. Not knowing how to help your child can make parents feel helpless, afraid and inadequate.
Overwhelming feelings can cause parents to become depressed, so dealing with them early on is essential.

WORRY
Parents often worry about how their child will cope. A million questions may pop into your head.
Will he be able to swim or ride a bike?
How will others react?
Will he be made fun of?
Will her self-esteem be affected?
Will she be able to drive?

Meeting other families who have had similar experiences can help ease these worries and give you a more realistic idea of what to expect. It is also wonderful to see how successful and athletic other children are with similar amputations to your child. This is hopefully when parents start to realize that there is no limit to what their children will be able to achieve!

CHAMP also has a wonderful program for matching families.

On the Other Hand

I have added a new link to the sidebar of the blog and I just wanted to point it out because I think it is SO wonderful!

It is written by Laura Faye Clubok, an Occupational Therapist who was born without fingers on her left hand. She is such an inspiration!

ontheotherhand.org
Oh how I wish I had have known about this website when I first found out about Gavin's arm during pregnancy! I had such a hard time finding any information at all, and this website has the best resources I have seen so far!

Laura has some really great information for all the different stages of parenting: Pregnancy-Birth, Early Years, School Age, Teenage Years...

There is also some great tips on Exercising and some really interesting information on Typing with One Hand and so much more.

I haven't had a chance to look over everything, and she is still in the process of adding more so it is definitely a site I will be returning to!

Causes

I just realized I have yet to address one of the biggest questions in regards to having a child with a limb difference...

WHY???

Why did Gavin's left arm stop growing when the rest of his limbs continued to develop normally? How did this happen? Was it something I did? Something in our genes? Something that could have been prevented?

The truth is, we don't really know and probably never will. All the doctors can do is speculate.

I have been reassured several times that it was nothing I did or didn't do during pregnancy. I know firsthand that mothers can experience a great deal of guilt. I think that topic might require a separate post because I have a whole lot to say about that. But basically, don't waste your energy on guilt. Easier said than done, I know...

John & I agreed to complete some genetics testing to see if it had anything to do with something in our genes. The answer was no. It is not hereditary or genetic. We are at no greater risk than anyone else of having another child with a limb difference.

The doctors also ruled out Amniotic Band Syndrome (ABS). Amniotic band syndrome is when strands of the amniotic sac become separated and can become wrapped around various body parts. This constriction can cause a variety of problems depending on where strands are located and how tightly they are wrapped. During my pregnancy I had many MANY ultrasounds and since there were never any amniotic bands in sight, the doctors were sure that ABS was not the cause.

Here are some statistics about ABS:
Amniotic banding affects approximately 1 in 1,200 live births. It is also believed to be the cause of 178 in 10,000 miscarriages.
Up to 50% of cases have other congenital anomalies including cleft lip, cleft palate, and clubfoot deformity.
Hand and finger anomalies occur in up to 80%.

The best explanation we were given was by an orthaepedic surgeon at The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. He took one look at Gavin's arm and said that he sees this all the time and it is almost ALWAYS the left arm that is affected. The way he explained it (and I will say it very simply) is that it was most likely that a blood clot caused the circulation to be cut off in Gavin's arm which caused it to stop growing in utero.

I found it very interesting that it is usually the left arm that is affected. He explained it to us that the shortest, most direct route from the heart is to the left arm. So when a blood clot is formed it usually gets pushed through the easiest, fastest route (instead of around to the right arm or all the way down to the legs).

I think this must be true because of all the arm amputees we met at the CHAMP seminar, I think I can only remember one that had a right arm amputation. Most children were LBE (left below elbow) like Gavin.

When it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter what caused it. We can speculate and theorize all we want but what's done is done. There's no point in looking back. So lets look forward to all the wonderful things the future holds for these extra special kids! ;)

Twinkle twinkle little star, how I love the way you are

This is one of my all time favourite photos. It was taken by the lovely & talented Annya Miller on Sept. 1, 2008. Gavin was only a month and a half old. *sigh*

I love the dimples in his chubby little hand. I also love the two dimples on the end of his arm and his tiny little fingers. A lot of people refer to them as nubbins but we just call them his little fingers. That's what they are :) That's how big they got before they stopped growing and I think they are so cute. Gavin loves to get kisses right on the end of his little arm. It is just so extra soft and lovable that I can never resist!

I think it was a positive thing for us that we found out about Gavin's arm when I was pregnant. We had a lot of time to think about things and it just wasn't a very big deal to us. But I have heard about others who were very surprised when their baby was born missing missing a limb or some other little bit. Some people have a hard time dealing with it because it is such a shock. There are a lot of different emotions involved and it can feel very overwhelming at first. Especially if you don't have much support and don't know of anyone else who has had a similar experience.

If I could give parents a little bit of advice, it would be to just show your baby as much love & affection as possible! Of course you would do this naturally, I know! But I think it is really important. There are lots of studies out there about the importance of touch to a newborn's bonding & development. There are so many benefits to skin-to-skin contact with baby and mom and dad! But pay lots of attention to your baby's "special part" (I don't know what to call it because it could be anything! An arm, leg, foot, hand, ear, cleft lip, birthmark...) I just mean that we want to show our children that all of his or her parts are beautiful, even (and ESPECIALLY!) if they are different. Babies pick up on our cues from a very young age. They understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for.

I think one of the most important things about raising a successful child is instilling a good sense of self-worth in them from the very beginning. A child who has good self-esteem is much more resilient and better equipped to handle all the challenges and hurdles that life is bound to throw at them. And if they receive all the love & support they need from their family, they are a lot less likely to care what other people think about them.

So give your little one an extra kiss and an extra long cuddle today and make sure you tell them what you love about them that makes them different from everyone else! As my husband likes to say, if everyone were the same this world would be a very boring place!

First Post

Welcome to my blog! I have been wanting to do this for a while but when my friend Steph started a blog about her pregnancy (All I Wanted Was A Back Rub), it motivated me to finally get started.

Since this is my first post, I guess it makes sense to start from the beginning.

I found out I was pregnant on Nov. 6, 2007. It was a very welcomed surprise! I went for the routine anatomy ultrasound at 19 weeks where they measure all of the baby's little parts. A few days later I got a call from my midwife that she wanted me to come and see her so we could talk. She didn't want to tell me what it was over the phone. Immediately I was afraid something was wrong. No news is usually good news.

John & I went to her office and she told us that the ultrasound technician had some concerns. She suspected that a bone in our baby's left arm was shorter than normal and she also thought that a few of his fingers might be fused together. It was so hard for me to hear this about my precious baby. I did a lot of crying that day but I tried to stay positive. I had heard a lot of stories about ultrasound technicians telling pregnant woman horrible things that turned out to be totally untrue and these woman went on to have perfectly normal babies. So I prayed that this would be the case with us and that the woman was wrong.

We had to wait 2 weeks for our appointment at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto at the Special Pregnancy Program. Finally the day came (Feb. 29, 2008) and we didn't have to wait for answers any longer. After my ultrasound the doctor asked us to come into another room so we could talk.

He started talking about the different bones in the arm and was drawing a picture as he talked. He drew a complete right arm and labeled the different bones. As he drew the left arm, he stopped just below the elbow and explained that our baby's radius and ulna were shorter than normal. It took a minute for it to sink in as I looked at his drawing. Then I realized that my baby doesn't have a left hand.

As you can imagine, that was a very hard day. No pregnant woman ever wants to hear that ANYTHING is wrong with her baby. Thankfully my husband was so incredibly positive and supportive that I didn't waste very much time feeling sorry for myself. It was a bit of a grieving process for me though. I went through a lot of different emotions; sadness, guilt (Was it something I did?), anger (Why did this happen to US? Its not fair!) and finally acceptance.

Whenever I would start to feel sad or upset, I would focus on all the positives. We were so blessed to have a healthy baby. A hand is just a hand. It could be so much worse. What if something was wrong with his heart or his brain? What if he had a chronic disease or disorder? Suddenly, it wouldn't seem so bad.

It was also a huge positive that he had a functioning elbow. We could see him bending it and moving it around during the ultrasounds. (He was always very busy in there!)

At first we didn't share our news with many people. We didn't want anyone feeling sorry for us or our baby. We wanted to enjoy the pregnancy without having people being focused on the fact that our baby was missing part of his arm.

I began to do research online but really couldn't find very much information. Then someone told me about a yahoo group called "Sammy's Friends" for parents of children with limb differences. I immediately joined, started reading posts and looking at pictures of different children. I was so inspired by the pictures of these children riding bikes, rock climbing, playing sports, etc. The parents all seemed so proud and positive. It helped me more than you can imagine.

Once we had processed the information ourselves and come to terms with it, we began to feel more comfortable sharing the news with our family and close friends. We received so much love & support that it made it easy. Before long, it didn't even seem like a big deal to us anymore. That was just the way he was and it would have seemed weird if we found out that he had 2 hands after all. It just seemed like that was the way he was meant to be.

I'm the type of person that believes everything happens for a reason. I feel blessed to have been given such a special child. He has already touched so many people's lives and proven that his limb difference can't slow him down at all. I'm excited to see what life has in store for him. I just know it will be something amazing!